Refining and conditioning are the two most important factors in becomming confident and successful with approaching women.
Its important for newcommers to the seduction game to realise that failure is your friend when you first start to pick up women. Sometimes we develop the mentality when learning something new that we aren’t ready to have a go at it ourselves before we become “experts” (An expert is actively doing what he has learnt), or only once we can assume that everything will go right with the first attempt. It’s this limiting belief and way of thinking that breeds procrastination and wasting opportunities that come our way. We simply cannot wait around for things to happen because they never will unless you go out there and get it. By all means read as much as you want, there’s plenty of invaluable information on how to seduce and attract women, but reading will not do anything for your real world success unless you implement the things you have learnt. The fastest way to learn how to approach a girl is to get out there and practice it, armed with the knowledge on how to do so.
For those who are getting started, and want to know how to pick up a girl without failure… I have news for you; Two big factors in the stages of knowing how to pick up a girl like a seduction guru are refining and conditioning. It’s only once you have got knocked back that you can assess what you did wrong, refine your methods then jump back in the game. It’s like Rocky says “It’s not how many times you get knocked down, but how many times you get back up”. something along those lines anyway because let’s be honest… We can only guess what Sly is making out to say most of the time. The big difference here is that if you were to get knocked down physically by a guy it would hurt, causing you actual pain… If on the other hand you get knocked back by a girl then the only thing hurting is your ego, no real damage was done, so stop being a sissy. Once you become conditioned to the knockbacks you will lose the ego and naturally develop a “Take it or leave it” attitude that will tell women you aren’t desperate, and most likely have an abundance of women in your life and that you are someone who doesn’t put women on a pedestal.
Conditioning combined with refining is what makes the BIG difference. If you don’t refine your methods when things don’t go to plan you are bound to repeat your mistake and because you won’t have learnt anything from them you will become frustrated and desperate for results, which puts you in a vicious circle or errors. I’m not saying to over analyse every approach that failed if the majority are a success because you cannot please all of the people, all of the time – and you don’t need to. What you can do though, is put yourself at an advantage by being in the right state of mind to be most likely, to attract most women, most of the time. The way to do this of course is by having relaxed confidence and having a positive energy and an Alpha Male aura about you. Exuding this confidence and aura all begins in the mind and translates through speach and body language – “I think therefore i am”. Think like an Alpha Male and eventually you will become one. So stop the self-doubting, negative talk inside your head and reframe your way of thinking to: “I am a man, (grab your balls if you need to check) I am confident, I am funny, I am attractive” and soon picking up girls will no longer be a daunting task at which you have to nervously coax yourself into, but an enjoyable hobbie with no real reprocussions from failure.
I just want to add here as a last note that self talk should not be an “us vs them” attitude where you feel as if you are going to war whenever you go out there with the intention to meet women. It will reveal itself as false bravado and negative/annoying cockyness.
To often in conversation with women guys are quick to try and establish a connection related to experience but go about it the wrong way.
The most important step in knowing how to talk to girls is bridging a connection to induce positive emotions. If you attempt to bridge a connection through common interests or similar life experience without evoking these positive emotions you will simply be thought of as someone to talk to within the range of the time the conversation takes to expire.
When learning how to talk to girls, the important things to remember when talking to women beyond fluff talk and try to connect on a more personal level is to allow her to speak about the things she is passionate about and probe deeper into her experiences and interests and try to see things from her perspective rather than be all to eagre to nod and smile looking for an opening to talk about yourself. For instance if she is passionate about travelling find out WHY she is passionate about travelling, why is it important to HER how has she developed from her experience what was she like before these experiences, has it changed her perspective and most importantly how did she FEEL during her experience. When she is in the flow of talking about something she enjoys or is passionate about and her positive emotions are heightened you can choose to insert key points and refferences about yourself on how your own experiences relate to hers. Not only will she be interested as you have common interests but because she has already divulged so much information you will be able to know on which points you could best connect with her and evoke those emotions in her that the two of you are compatible.
Even when the conversation seems to be shallow fluff talk, there are more often that not pieces of info that are divulged that you can pick up on if you listen intently to what she says instead of brushing these gems of information off and chosing to ignore. For example a girl may say: “I grew up in Vancouver, but moved here to study/work”. Some guys would just say “Oh ok” then move onto the next point in an attempt to get as much information out of her as they can and call it a conversation – while it may be conversation, It’s hardly a deep, meaningful or memorable conversation, instead it is pointless, boring and tedious. From that piece of info she’s told you, potentially there is an opportunity there to get to know her on a much more intimate level, by asking her probing questions about how she FELT at that time, and asking her what her life in Vancouver was like, does her family still live there? Does she fly out to see them during holiday seasons? (Where you can insert “I’d love to visit Vancouver some-time” – Which gives you an opening)? (Could branch off to talk about her loved ones) You could then say how close you are to your family or how goal orientated you are as well – This shows a compatibility in values and also compliments her on a deeper level beyond her looks as you’ve told her you are as goal orientated as she is.
Getting to know someone like this puts you in the position where she is comfortable with you and will feel like “She’s known you for years”. This is one of the best techniques to acquire when you are looking for something more substantial, such as a relationship. Knowing how to approach a girl gets your foot in the door, but stimulating conversation opens up opportunities for escalation.
It’s known that women are approached a LOT by men, not to say that they are men with any game but that’s besides the point. It’s because we know that there’s competition out there we naturally tend to go for women we think we may atleast stand some chance with. It’s because of this that we decide that we should stay where we are most comfortable and that hot women are “out of our league” or that competition is far too stiff. In our minds we convince ourselves that beautiful women only date very wealthy men who happen to look like Brad Pitt. I’m going to tell you now that you do not need to be James Bond to get with these stunners, although you could learn a lesson or two from him on the ATTITUDE and Alpha Male traits required to be with them.
The truth of the matter is that the most beautiful women, the 10′s, the ones who you admire from a distance… These women are amongst the most lonely women out there. Know why? Because nobody has the balls to go up and speak to her as if she was a human being! Imagine that… There stands a sexy woman who any guy would love to have by his side, and guys actually will avoid talking to her because of an irrational fear of rejection! You’d be more than suprised at the results you would get with hot women if you were to just relax and let your natural charisma flow. It’s unfortunate that the guys who do have the testicular fortitude to talk to these women speak to them as if the slightest word that could be percieved as cocky or offensive is going to wreck their chances. So they speak to them as polite as possible, and compliment them continuously and make it obvious that they are there to serve to them. These hopeful guys validate themselves to the women by spewing anything and everything they have going for them and divulging every last detail about themselves leaving no room for mystery or intrigue, instead they compensate for their own percieved lack of value in comparison to her by placating to her whims, schedule and time; “Call me when YOU’RE avaiable”, “When are YOU free”, “When can I BUY YOU dinner”. Not only is all of this translating to the woman that you are creepy, have low value (and probably no life) but also that you are BORING.
Knowing how to talk to girls with relaxed confidence and not being afraid to share some humour with her like you would your friends and adopting the traits of an alpha male (by actually BEING an alpha male) you will be able to have these women hooked.
Hot women are secretly yearning for a man, an alpha male to look after them and enjoy their time with. If you know how to pick up a girl, you know how to pick up hot beautiful women – no special treatment necessary.
