Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

A Young Gentleman Hits Rock Bottom, Faces His Depression, Gets Alcohol Treatment for His Irresponsible and Excessive Drinking, and Increases His Self Esteem

Tuesday, October 27th, 2009

Samuel was a forty-four-year-old interior designer who was sick of feeling depressed everyday of his life and sick of his unhealthy drinking behavior. In a word, he missed his old drive for doing the things he liked, he was annoyed with himself for spending his hard-earned money on a useless habit, he hated the hangovers he experienced on a regular basis, he was tired of going through shattered relationship after shattered relationship because of his constant drinking, and he was sick of feeling weary every morning.

Moreover he was bored with his drinking friends, he hated the fact that he had to go to court for his second DUI, he was disgusted with how out-of-shape he was, he was irritated with the many times he failed an alcohol test at work, and he was fed up with paying for alcohol-related lawyer fees.

On top of the obvious alcohol-related health problems he was experiencing, in all probability the unhealthiest part of his drinking routine was the undependable and scheming individual he had become. In his heart of hearts he knew that he had been less than truthful about his drinking behavior to his family, friends and relatives and he also knew he had been less than honest with himself about the “positive” effects of drinking. Not only this but he justified wolfing down two or three drinks before going to social events and he also made excuses for needing a few drinks as soon as he awakened so that he could deal with the “tension” at his job.

His Depression and His Excessive and Abusive Drinking Lead to Significant Changes in His Life

It was clear that Samuel was sick of putting up with the adverse outcomes of his depression and his abusive drinking and decided that something important had to change in his life. So he determined that he would abstain from drinking, involve himself in some worthwhile hobbies, develop a new circle of friends, start exercising, start focusing on becoming a more healthy person, and get professional counseling.

In short, Samuel got to the point in his life during which he understood that he hit rock bottom and was now ready to begin the gradual road to health.

One of the ways that Samuel put his “plan” info operation was by asking for a transfer at his place of employment. When his request was granted, he moved 900 miles away to a new city. If nothing else, this without a doubt made making new friends and pals and detaching himself from his old pals simpler. Then he phoned a doctor in his new city and made an appointment for a complete psychological and physical examination.

Samuel Meets With a Healthcare Professional About His Hazardous and Heavy Drinking and His Depression

After meeting with the doctor and taking a number of laboratory tests, it was decided that Samuel had made the transition from alcohol abuse to alcoholism and as a result was in need of alcohol detox and alcohol therapy. At this time, the healthcare professional made it a point to discuss the diverse signs of alcoholism, the symptoms of alcoholism, and information about long term alcohol effects with Samuel.

The doctor then told Samuel that it was determined that he was clinically depressed and in need of counseling for this medical problem.

Samuel Makes up His Mind to Revitalize His Body by Exercising, Drinking Filtered Water, Eating Healthy Foods, Living an Alcohol-Free Way of Life, and Taking Vitamins and Minerals

Due to his enthusiasm for following through with the rehab program, after eight weeks of residential treatment, Samuel was ready to begin treatment on an outpatient basis. At this point, he started working at his new job and over the weeks began fortifying his body by living an alcohol-free lifestyle, drinking spring water, eating nutritious foods, exercising, and taking vitamins.

Samuel also dealt with his spiritual life by joining the local Presbyterian church and going to the weekly services.

After approximately four months of outpatient treatment during which time he never suffered through an alcohol relapse, Samuel stopped going to alcohol rehab and instead started going four times per week to local Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. Going to these meetings helped Samuel maintain his alcohol-free style of life, they provided him with the support he required, and they served as a constant reminder of the damaging outcomes that are linked to careless and hazardous drinking.

After going to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings just about six-and-a-half months Samuel felt that he was ready for a relationship and so he started dating Kelly, a young woman he met at church. It clearly surprised Samuel how much more ready he was for a dating relationship now that he had his abusive and excessive drinking under control. Indeed it also amazed Samuel how much better life was now that he wasn’t under the control of his abusive drinking. Life was now meaningful and full of potential that he could have never hoped for or attained when he was involved in abusive and unhealthy drinking less than a year ago.

A Success Story That is a Testimony of the Value of Alcohol Rehabilitation and the Power of Positive Change

Samuel’s success story is a demonstration of the value of alcohol therapy and the power of positive thinking. As Samuel reflected on his newfound lofty self concept and drive for involving himself in worthwhile, healthy activities, he was actually thankful that he made up his mind to do something worth while about his excessive and hazardous drinking rather than giving into his depression and into the lure of his addiction. The result: he enjoys his new job responsibilities, his life now has a positive direction, he is in command of his life rather than letting himself languish under the control of his alcohol addiction, he has more energy now compared with any time in his adult life, and he is involved in a loving relationship.

A Young Couple Reviews Their Irresponsible and Hazardous Drinking and Their Short and Long-Term Dreams, Hopes, and Aspirations

Monday, October 26th, 2009

Augie and Merissa have been dating for six-and-a-half years. They met while taking the same criminology class at a medium size, rural, Church affiliated liberal arts college located in the Midwestern part of the U.S. While they were mainly good pals at first, they at long last began dating when they were in their first year of college.

Given the fact that both of them came from very conventional backgrounds, neither one of them drank much beyond the testing stage when they first started to date. As the time advanced, nonetheless, they began to go to more football bashes, sorority and fraternity parties, happy hours, and keg parties. Consequently, they little by little began to drink more the longer they saw one another in a dating capacity.

Their Social Life Regularly Consisted of Going to Parties With Their Friends, Going to Happy Hour With Their Friends, Going to Professional Sporting Events, Going to Restaurants Three or Four Nights Per Week, and Going With Their Friends to the Local Club on the Weekends

After they graduated from college, they both landed jobs in a large city that was just about eighty miles from their undergraduate college. Then they finally made up their mind to move into the same apartment with one another.

Due to the fact they were far removed from the college drinking scene, however, their social life commonly consisted of going to restaurants three or four nights per week, going to parties with their friends, going to happy hour with their friends, going to professional sporting events, and going to the local discotheque with their pals on the weekends. To put it simply, Augie and Merissa began drinking in an irresponsible and abusive manner.

Now that they were living in the same apartment with one another and starting to get more steadfast about their relationship, however, they began to think about getting married, buying a house, becoming more responsible, and having children.

With any big change in an individual’s life there is commonly something that initiates the specific modification in question. For Augie and Merissa the idea of having children and buying a new house was this “method of change.” Stated more forcefully, for the first time in their lives, Augie and Merissa started to reflect on their abusive and irresponsible drinking and the long term effects of alcohol on their lives.

How Would Their Irresponsible and Heavy Drinking Affect Their Mental Health, Their Ability to Have Children, Their Relationship With One Another, Their Finances, and Their Relationship With Their Parents?

Would their hazardous drinking negatively affect their ability to have children? How would they be able to continue spending a large percentage of their money on drinking if they were to start saving for a new house? How accountable would they be if they had children and continued to drink at their current pace? How would they be able to face their parents and tell them about their long term dreams, hopes, and plans while they still drank in an abusive manner while having fun as they did when they were in college? What would their excessive drinking do to their relationship? How would their hazardous and irresponsible drinking affect their mental health?

From a different perspective, although neither one of them ever suffered from alcohol poisoning, received a DUI, or experienced alcohol withdrawal symptoms, they realized that their abusive and hazardous drinking was becoming a problem that they could not turn their backs on any longer.

After Giving Their State of Affairs Some Serious Thought, Merissa and Augie Finally Understood That Their Plans, Dreams, and Hopes Would not be Accomplished if They Continued Their Hazardous and Irresponsible Drinking

All of these queries plainly indicated the same conclusion: Merissa and Augie needed to be more aware that they couldn’t continue their irresponsible and heavy drinking if their hopes, aspirations, and dreams were to be fulfilled.

Once they settled upon this conclusion, they advised their drinking buddies about their goal of buying or building a new house, about their plans to start a family, and about their marital plans. They also told their drinking buddies that they still wanted to hang around with them but that they would be drinking in strict moderation from this moment forward so that they could start realizing their future dreams, hopes, and plans.

Much to their wonder, all of their pals expressed relief because they too had been reevaluating their lives and concluded that their life-styles were totally focused on drinking. They also understood that they would have to change significantly if they were to become more accountable and exhibit more care for their careers, their aspirations, and for their health in the next ten or fifteen years.

After their heart-to-heart chat with their friends about their hopes, plans, and dreams, Augie and Merissa in reality started to have more meaningful relationships with all of their buddies. The main reason for this was the fact that all of them had a similar perspective regarding their hazardous and heavy drinking and their short and long-term plans, goals, and aspirations.

A Young Man Needs Therapy For His Severe Depression, Relationship Problems, and For His Drug and Alcohol Dependency

Thursday, October 22nd, 2009

Roughly four months ago I had breakfast with a thirty-four-year-old man named Alexander who suffers from severe depression, has relationship problems, and who is alcohol and drug dependent. As explained by Alexander, it is his drug addiction and alcoholism and his intense depression that had the most to do with his unceasing relationship difficulties.

I recollect hearing that a history of mental health issues, drug addiction, and harmful drinking quite often happen in the same family. Moreover, I remember hearing that under such circumstances, a person needs to get treatment for both medical situations and that addiction and mental health difficulties frequently occur in the same individual.

As declared by Alexander, he is so dejected by his relationship difficulties and by both of his medical problems that he basically has little or no reason to do much of anything. What is especially sad about this is that earlier in his life, Alexander managed to finish five semesters of grad school in biology.

Alexander’s circumstance makes me question if he is an example of an individual who can look in the mirror and see his drug abuse and alcohol drinking problems and do something healthy about these problems or if he is an individual who has to hit the bottom of the barrel before he gets drug and alcohol rehab that leads to lasting sobriety.

The Need For a Rehabilitation Program He Can Believe In and a Psychologist He Can Trust

If it would be helpful I would assume that I could advise him about numerous blogs and websites that could possibly help him locate information about drug abuse symptoms, the stages of alcoholism, chemical dependency information, and relationship issues. From my vantage point, nevertheless, Alexander needs to find a counseling protocol he can believe in and follow through over the long term and locate a therapist he can trust.

I could be in the wrong but it seems to make sense that Alexander more likely than not needs to look honestly at his life regarding his drug addiction signs and alcoholic symptoms and recognize the fact that he cannot use drugs or even drink responsibly if he wants to get sober, stay sober, and start on the path to lasting sobriety.

It may be asked how treatment would help his drug and alcohol addiction. First of all, there are several recently produced doctor-prescribed meds that can help Alexander through his withdrawal symptoms, through the drug and alcohol detoxification process, and help him avoid a drug or an alcohol relapse.

Second, Alexander would learn to concede the fact that there is completely nothing useful about chemical dependency and excessive and abusive drinking and that involving himself in one or both situations is the road to legal problems, deteriorating health, a premature death, poor work and school performance, shattered relationships, and financial difficulties.

Third, treatment for his relationship problems and his depression might help him manage these psychological issues more successfully and perhaps create less of a need for him to engage in addictive behavior.

The Significance of Support Groups Such as Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous

There are realistically several friends, other people, and family members who would desire to help Alexander with his substance abuse and his hazardous and excessive drinking. He probably would experience greater acceptance from a recovery group such as Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous, however, instead of getting advice from individuals who rarely drink or who have never taken drugs.

When Individuals Do Things They Love and About Which They Are Passionate

There’s a philosophical attitude that contends that individuals who do things they like and something about which they are dedicated reach a magnificent place in life. Stated another way, when people do what they love, they almost never experience an uneventful life or boredom. If they involve themselves in something that is enjoyable, what is more, they become more actualized and experience more gratification and delight in life and in their relationships.

When this is examined more closely it becomes clear that this positive mindset is worlds apart from a life that is grounded in drug and alcohol addiction because such a lifestyle removes the satisfaction and joy that life has to offer.

Because Alexander lacks the fortitude to do much of anything in his life, it is obvious that he definitely needs some hope for a better existence. And the unfortunate thing is that hope is all around Alexander if he could only get to the place in life to get the therapy he needs for his acute depression and dependency and continue with his treatment routine.

Better Relationships, Beneficial Change, Self Respect, and a Meaningful Life Are Possibilities

Alexander is simply too young to be defeated in life. He doesn’t comprehend this right now but if he can learn how to refrain from drugs and alcohol through drug and alcohol rehabilitation and get the counseling he needs for his severe depression, he can reorient his life and start living with passion, self-respect, and direction.

More positive relationships, productive change, self esteem, and a wonderful life are certainly possibilities for Alexander if only he could become motivated to get the medical rehabilitation he requires, follow through with his treatment program, live his life in an addiction-free and healthy manner, and learn how to acquire a more positive attitude about life.

Irresponsible and Hazardous Drinking Leads to Depression and Mental Health Issues, an Enabling Wife, and Encouragement for Constructive Change and Successful Alcohol Abuse Treatment

Thursday, October 15th, 2009

It took quite a few years but Emily at long last made up her mind that she had enough with her husband’s careless drinking. She was weary from seeing Barry come home in the early hours of the morning from drinking rather than spending time with her and the children. She was also exhausted from the DUI Barry recently got. Moreover she was weary from creating reasons for her spouse when he couldn’t show up for work on time due to his problems with drinking. In a similar manner she was nervous and depressed about the fact that their relationship was going downhill due to Barry’s unhealthy and excessive drinking. And finally she was fed up from the risky financial quandary into which he had placed his family due to his hazardous drinking behavior.

When Abusive and Excessive Drinking Motivates a Person to do Something Affirmative About a Person’s Drinking Problem

One Monday evening when Emily was thinking about what she could do about her husband’s abusive drinking, she got to the point that she frankly had to do something helpful to cut into the destructive cycle of Barry’s unhealthy and excessive drinking behavior.

So she looked on the Internet under “alcohol treatment” and found several rehab facilities that were all located less than fifteen miles away from where Barry and she lived.

Because she didn’t know a lot about these rehab clinics, she at long last finally decided to call some of them and ask some important questions. When she called each treatment clinic she identified who she was and articulated that her husband was involved in hazardous and excessive drinking behavior. She also stated that Barry, her spouse, had a top quality health insurance program at his job and that outpatient or residential alcohol addiction treatment would be covered if a physician in the company health program suggested the treatment.

At one rehabilitation facility, Emily was stunned that she was able to communicate directly with a healthcare practitioner who asked her to come to the rehab clinic to go over her husband’s abusive and careless drinking behavior in much greater detail.

Emily Talks to a Healthcare Professional About Her Husband’s Abusive and Irresponsible Drinking

When Emily arrived at the rehabilitation clinic, she filled out some paperwork and then after around ten or fifteen minutes got to see a therapist.

After listening to Emily discuss her husband’s hazardous drinking, the healthcare professional in an encouraging but firm manner told Emily how she probably played a part in her spouse’s hazardous drinking through the years by making excuses for him rather than allowing him to suffer the outcomes of his hazardous and excessive drinking behavior.

Emily Finds Out She Has Been Enabling Her Husband’s Abusive and Excessive Drinking

More to the point, the physician told Emily that she may have been accidentally enabling Barry’s excessive and hazardous drinking behavior. The physician also highlighted the fact that while Emily could not control her spouse’s actions, with the support and guidance of the rehab team at the rehabilitation clinic she would not only be able to learn how to refrain from contributing to Barry’s hazardous drinking but she could also learn how to help him schedule an appointment at the rehab clinic so that he could talk about his hazardous and abusive drinking behavior with a therapist.

Fortunately after Emily revealed this to her husband, and he saw that she was serious, Barry told her that he had been quite uneasy with his hazardous and careless drinking behavior and that he was somewhat thankful to know that Emily wanted to do something helpful about his abusive and unhealthy drinking behavior. As a result, he made an appointment to see a therapist at the local alcohol treatment center.

Barry Agrees to Meet With a Physician About His Harmful Drinking

While simply calling a rehab center does not guarantee that an individual’s abusive and unhealthy drinking behavior will stop or that one’s warning signs of alcoholism or the alcohol abuse signs one manifests will simply fade away, calling for an appointment is obviously a necessary aspect in the treatment process. And due to the fact that Barry was serious about getting therapy for his unhealthy and excessive drinking, the likelihood of a successful recovery was significantly enhanced.

The Key to a Successful Marriage

Sunday, August 30th, 2009

I have witnessed, both within my own family, in the outside world and in my practice, what can happen in a relationship if there is no common bond that can actually bind a couple together.

Well, let me digress (or maybe, progress) and say a bit about getting together as a couple in the first place: even if there is a strong attraction, be it physical, mental or emotional: Love; That does not seem to be enough to keep a couple together; the body will wither, the mind will change and the emotions will flutter. And love may turn into a dependency or habit. Unless, there is a third entity; the glue that binds the one to the other; the bond that binds, a mutual goal and lifetime commitment to it. A common commitment to a external force or ideal, that is greater than both of you, that is stable and enduring, will see you through the tough times that will inevitably come …

In my opinion, there are two good bonds; children and Religion or a Spiritual Practice (to be more politically correct, or any other proven external disciplinary way of life that both parties agreed to commit to whole-heartedly, abide by, follow and emulate; the goal). With both of these present, the chances are multiplies exponentially. But, even with both of these, there are no garantees.

Without these, there is no common bond; it’s just two people living separate lives together: convenient for a nice meal, some ambience, safe sex, and the occasional meaningful conversation …

So, both parties must have the same intent or lifetime goal. Otherwise, both sides will be resentful, because, in any situation, for any important decision, no compromise can satisfy both of the parties, because their primary motivating goals are different; or they have no primary motivating goals and “just don’t feel like it” at the time. And so there is no improvement in the situation and resentments, anger, etc. build; and there is no possibility for a long-term relationship.

Love may sometimes seem to be obscured by a tendency towards negativity, insecurity and fear/anxiety. But this is who the person is at the moment; and they are perfect the way they are.

Love may sometimes seem to be obscured by a tendency towards not wanting to be so depended upon by the other, for their happiness, security and emotional wellbeing. But this is who that person is at the moment; and perfect the way they are.

Much of this may stem from residual family entanglements. Control issues coming from the family of origin may be the cause of some behaviors. Some behaviors may come from family insecurity issues.

There are a few key issues that need to be kept in mind: Trust! Honesty! One must trust the other, as the right hand trusts the left. And one must be honest and trustworthy, inside the relationship and in the world at large as well; trusting yourself, being honest with yourself and trusting your partner and being honest with your partner, and being trustworthy and honest in all your dealings in the world. In other words, your thoughts, speech and actions should always be in line with a clear conscience.

There are times when you will feel rejected or abandoned, based on your perception of the situation. There is usually no reason to feel this way; from the other’s standpoint, it’s not about you, it may be about their family control issues.

At times you may feel that you would appear weak if you give in to the desires of the other. There is no reason to feel weak by giving in: remember the bond that binds; you can show your compassion and accommodation of what may be the other’s family insecurity issues.

Besides the above mentioned, or perhaps, because of the above mentioned, there may be a lack of real compassion and empathy on the part of both parties for each other. To see the world from the other persons heart and to trust the other person, that they are doing the best they can. To see them as perfect, the way they are. (Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying that there is no room for improvement.) To realize the person is always more important than any ideology or material object or goal; the relationship comes first.

Perhaps ask; what’s the worst thing that can happen if the worst thing happens. Most of the time, when the dust settles, nothing too spectacular. Again, the third entity, the bond that binds, the trust in that everything that happens is only good.

There is a need for genuine compassion and complete acceptance of the other as perfect as they are; acknowledgement and acceptance of each others needs and idiosyncrasies and the commitment and willingness to live with them as they are, for as long as they are that way. And to accomplish this, we need the help of a special “glue” to bind one love to the other. A “third party” that has historically been present in all successful marriages. And continues to be a vital element in marriages today.

The other person; their feelings, hopes, dreams, goals must be your own as well: you are one; heads and tails of the same coin. One person, soul, living life in two bodies.

It says, “All beginnings are difficult”. And while this may be so, heading in the right direction, with the right foot, for the right reasons, towards the right goal, will ensure that the trip will be worthwhile and pleasant for you and for all of those who love you …

Abraham Bruck is the developer of the Universal Healing Technique and the UHT Lifetime Trauma Resolution Protocol.